- So we start with the Coffee Shop of Doom and Aria and Spencer are currently discussing the fact that Maya had a stamp on her wrist that let her go to cool raves and why aren't you guys going to cool raves? You're teenagers! ANYWAY, Spencer is freaking out like a normal girl because with all this A drama, she forgot to apply for early admission! UPenn is her dream! SHE GOT A B ON AN ASSIGNMENT.
- Now Spencer is saying that instead of Velma, she is going to be Daphne and I resent the idea Daphne wouldn't be able to go to an Ivy League! You don't know her life!
- Hey, it's CeCe! CeCe went to UPenn (Spencer's shock is hilarious) and she says she can help Spencer met with someone for works in admissions if she goes to a party with her tonight. This sounds like an AWFUL idea.
- OKAY, so the court can COMPEL her? What are they gonna do; chloroform her and drag her to get her blood drawn? Serious Police is Serious. Momma Marin is panicking and you know what happens when she panics.
- So i'm confused: how is Caleb allowed to leave for months on end to go to California and then come back to school? Like...WHAT? And who is he staying with? A hotel? With Lucas the Crazy?
- Wow, Caleb, you're super smooth. God, just make up already you two. Honestly, you're like lost puppy love.
- Hanna got a text! From A! Threatening Caleb, of course, because A can do what she wants, bb. She and Spencer are discussing why the hell A wants her to go to a Grill. Apparently Toby LEFT TOWN? To search for answers? Whaaaaaat?
- So how Emily is all smiley with...god, I always forget her name. Does this mean we don't get cynical bitchy Emily anymore? Thank god. (ETA: PAIGE! HER NAME IS PAIGE!)
- "I think the universe is a finicky little bastard". Oh Spencer, truer words have never been said (on this show).
- Oh, Aria, you're going for the retro goth look today? I can't decide whether or not I like it. (ETA: I just saw the shirt she's wearing under the skull crop top and the necklace. No, I do not like)
- OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD IS THAT MASON? THAT IS MASON FROM WIZARDS OF WAVERLY PLACE AND I LOVE HIM OH MY GOD. This show just hooked me all over again, oh my god. He's Ezra's brother. Does that mean he's coming back? Please?
- Okay, I'm having a problem with this relationship (surprise?) Seriously, Ezra hasn't told Aria ANYTHING about his life and he just shoved his brother away without even explaining or introducing them.
- Ezra has a crazy-Hobo look about him today. Also he is keeping secrets so blargh. Aria is trying to get them out of him by telling him that his mother offered her money to break up with him because that's a good plan.
- A bunch of stuff I don't care about happens here with lots of Ezra Secret Keeping is yeah.
- Oh my god, why is everyone's outfits so bad today?
- Emily is angry because everyone lied to her and with good reason and now Hanna gave her the log-in to the website. I feel like everything they do is a bad idea.
- Aw, Spencer and Aria are bonding, this is cute. I like when they're just friends chilling out.
- Why is everyone going to Aria for fashion advice? I forgot that she is the guru out of all of them but...no. And now Spencer and Aria are bonding over the fact Spencer shaved her dad's sideburns while he was sleeping because her grandma offered her $200 and I love them.
- Uh oh, the party is at Noel's house! Because he has an older brother! I love CeCe, seriously.
- OH MY GOD THE CRAZY SUSPICIOUS STAMP is for Noel's parties. Of. Freaking. Course.
- So now Emily is looking at Maya's videos wherein Maya does a lot of videos of her reading poetry and it's...strange. Not the poetry, it's beautiful, but the fact she'd film herself alone reading poetry and put it on a secret website and Emily is caressing the screen.
- WHOA, I recognize the guy who is playing Noel's older brother but I can't remember from where...somewhere douchey, i'm sure. ANYWAY, apparently to be in the game room you have to play so...Spencer and Aria are going to stand around awkwardly and CeCe is going to play a game of Truth with the Douche.
- Mrs.Hanna doesn't want Hanna to worry because she's going to handle everything with the court order! Well, let's cross our fingers!
- Wow, this seems strange. Jenna and Noel are going to play a game of Truth with Spencer and Aria but I really want them to just punch Joel because they have such smug little grins of their faces.
- WHOA, Caleb just says he's A. BUT thank god he just means he sent the text to prove that A is still around and Hanna is lying. And now Hanna is freaking out at Caleb and telling him to stop being dumb.
- Okay, so now Noel and Aria are playing Truth and this is a dumb plotline. Noel and Jenna look super "fake evil" smirking up the place and Noel is trying to get Aria to admit she slept with a teacher. Which TECHNICALLY, I don't think she did? I think they slept together after?
- Mrs.Hanna and Ted are having dinner and she's the only one drinking wine while talking about how he rescued a raccoon with a broken leg. Wow, man, you got skills.
- HA, Jenna said she's not going to be bullied by Spencer again. YEAH GUESS WHAT. TOO BAD.
- So basically, we know nothing from this. And the actress who plays Jenna makes really irritating evil faces.
- Back to Caleb and Hanna fighting! God, these girls just need to understand that their boyfriends want to help them with A. Caleb, Toby, for serious. And boom! Caleb and Hanna back together!
- I definitely don't believe CeCe about giving her application to Steven because Steven doesn't exist because this girl doesn't make any sense.
- Now we're having Ted and Mrs.Hanna moments and they are cute; I like them.
- WAIT WHAT? EZRA GOT SOMEONE PREGNANT? This boy. I cannot. This needs to stop. Maybe you say I shouldn't trust Mason because he is unknown but he is Mason, so I trust him. And I don't trust Ezra.
- Okay so now Paige and Emily are talking about their dead love ones and it's kind of sweet but I don't know how on board I can be with this relationship...hmm.
- OH YEAH EZRA, SITTING ON YOUR THRONE OF LIES.
- Awww, Spencer left Toby a voicemail and I miss them together and feels.
- OH WOW, CeCe was telling the truth! Man, every time they make you doubt CeCe, she delivers!
And that's it for this week! Three weeks left until we find out WHO IS GOING TO BETRAY THEM ALL.
Happy watching!
