10.12.2012

The Vampire Diaries 4x01 Growing Pains Recap

Welcome to the premiere recap of The Vampire Diaries! In which I kept shouting at the TV screen MOVE OUT OF TOWN OUT OF THE COUNTRY ANYTHING JESUS.




  • A little recap of the past season with everyone saying Mystic falls is their home (and I keep thinking: GUYS. MOVE. SERIOUSLY) and blah blah blah 
  • Drilling noises! Elena is waking up in a panic and Stefan and Damon are there to greet her. They're trying to break it to Elena gently that she's DEAD but you know, she's dead so you can't really break that to someone. 
  • Damon is being bitter (with good reason because I mean Stefan is STRONG BRO) and now Elena knows she's transitioning and she's panicking (again with good reason). 
  • Stefan is trying to give her false hope with Bonnie saying she's stronger than her but guys, Bonnie's plans usually backfire. Elena is like: but I dunz want to be a vampire! BETTER THAN DEAD, at least for me. 
  • Stefan and Damon are fighting because Damon is like: I would've met Matt die obviously. Stefan ain't taking none of Damon's shit today and Damon is drinking. So you know, regular day. 
  • Elena is checking for teeth in the mirror but sadly, she still hasn't gotten a pair of awesome fangs. Jeremy is there to comfort her with the not-comforting words: "That's worse than you turning into a vampire. I need my sister, not one of her." Wow, thanks of letting her now you'll love her no matter what. JEEZ. 
  • Elena is having these crazy freak-out moments with a lamp and SO SHE CRUSHES THE LAP.
  • Oh my god, Tyler-Klaus! Seriously, Michael Trevino is an amazing actor. You can so tell it's Klaus even though it's Tyler's voice and body. Bonnie is buying herself some time so she can help Elena but Klaus isn't going to budge much. 
  • In the Hospital of Mystic Falls, Meredith is being fired for using vampire blood. 
  • Matt is angsting about how it's all his fault Elena is dead. But guys, I mean, it's not Matt ASKED to be taken out first. He was unconscious! Caroline as usual is being awesome and my favorite AND the voice of reason in saying: she didn't want to be dead. Now she's not. If Caroline could go through this with zero help, so can Elena. Also, it changed Caroline for the better and she knows that. 
  • Matt is being douchey to Caroline EVEN THOUGH HER BOYFRIEND IS NOW DEAD SO CHILLAX. And now they're hugging which makes me happy because I like Matt and Caroline's friendship a lot. They give epic hugs.
  • Pastor Bob (that's what I'm naming him) is collecting Liz and Tyler's mom since they were hiding Caroline and Tyler from them. She calls Caroline, who still hasn't left, and Caroline ends up getting CAPTURED. 
  • Wait, human food is disgusting to vampires? NO IT'S NOT! Caroline spent of  her baby vamp days eating all the food in sight and she still eats people food! Her and Stefan went out to eat once! Whyyyy!
  • Elena is trying to calm Stefan down and Stefan is calming her down. But Elena is hysterical and laughing about her lame "crossing that bridge" joke and she's going to burst into tears any minute. 
  • Yup, there are the tears. 
  • Elena walks in and Damon just told her cute pjs. Damon she's not even WHOA OH MY GOD IT'S A MEMORY. It's the memory; the one where Damon tells her he loves her but then he compelled her to forget! Man, if I wanted them together, this would be an awesome moment. 
  • Elena is now like WTF because she's getting all of her memories back. All. What does this mean? (probably nothing) Will it change anything? (probably not). 
  • Rebekah is causing a mess of Klaus' room because she thinks he's dead and Damon came to let out some of his anger on the girl who caused all of this. Rebekah however, has other plans which involve getting shot in the back. 
  • Stefan also has guns pointed at him 
  • HAHAHAHA, I love Klaus. "This incessecent woman!" and then he answers the phone like HEY MOM! All the points to Trevino. 
  • Klaus is also annoyed at Tyler's mom for calling but then she says Caroline has been taken and he's like EXCUSE ME I MUST GO SAVE MY LOVE. 
  • Rebekah and Caroline are in the back of a van and TYLER!KLAUS TO THE RESCUE. Caroline is like: what the frigging hell I thought you were dead. But then Klaus doesn't get Rebekah and instead leaves her behind to keep the council busy. 
  • Damon, Liz, and Meredith are trying to figure out a plan and failing epicly.
  • DAMON STOP GOD IT WASN'T MATT'S FAULT JESUS. 
  • Pastor Bob is making small talk with Elena who is currently freaking out. He's serving her food which is not a good AND SERIOUSLY A BLOODY STEAK REALLY? This girl is gonna go bonkers. I can't believe Caroline had to go through this having no idea what was going on. And...she's knocked out. 
  • Tyler!Klaus and Caroline are currently making out in the woods and every time Klaus tries pulling away, she attacks him with kisses, haha. But because he's so excited about making out with Caroline, he calls her love, which we all knows is Klaus' thing. (Also, best line of the whole episode: Wrong place, wrong time, wrong equipment. HA!) Caroline immediately notices and knows it's Klaus and not Tyler because this sort of thing is normal in Mystic Falls. 
  • Klaus is being hilarious ("I was an innocent victim!") and Caroline is being disgusted so everything as usual. She tells him to get Tyler back in his body and he's more than happy to oblige because he wants to get back to his sexy British body. 
  • It's Bonnie time! She's getting ready to do some major freaky magic and Jeremy is like: nothing's happening? Nothing is happening. The spirits aren't listening but Bonnie is willing to go to the dark side to get Elena back. So she does it and it's freaky and she has Elena and she's bringing her over BUT THEN HER GRANDMA APPEARS OUT OF NOWHERE AND GOES: NOPE!
  • And so, this is the story about how that plan backfired majorly. Rebekah is amused at the fact she's going to get to watch Elena die and Elena is getting ready to pass out from her need for blood.
  • Stefan is having a freak out because Elena is going to die in less than three hours and while he's throwing a fit, he gets shot in the leg. 
  • Klaus is like: Bonnie, shut up, DO THE BLOODY SPELL. And when Bonnie says no, he's like oh no? Alright let me just kill Tyler's body then PFFT. And everyone is wigging out (even though I think he's bluffing but you never know with Klaus) and so, Bonnie agrees to do it. 
  • Elena and Stefan are having a really touching moment now and even though I don't hardcore ship them either, I do like them together. I know Elena is going to live but this is still sad. Rebekah is watching and I have a feeling she's going to help them because she's a sucker for sob stories and romance.
  • Damon and Matt have arrived at the party and you know what's Damon's stupid plan to get in and save everyone? RIP MATT'S THROAT OUT TO CALL THE PASTOR OUTSIDE. Like honestly Damon enough of this already, god. Also you are dumb; they obviously have guns and vervain idiot. 
  • Bonnie is doing the spell on Klaus to get him out of Tyler's body and it's working! Tyler is fine! EXCEPT NOT BECAUSE BONNIE CAN'T STOP!
  • But I mean what is happening to her grandma? I mean, she's DEAD. 
  • Elena is finally getting some blood after a little teamwork by Stefan and Rebekah and it's taking her a ridiculious amount of time to reach other and get it. BUT SHE GETS SOME. And now she's officially a vampire!
  • Damon is being annoying to Matt again and ELENA AIN'T TAKING NONE OF THAT DOWN BOY. Stefan is now helping Matt up and Matt is being a stupid little boy so Stefan sets him straight. 
  • Elena is telling Damon how she remembers anything but Elena is saying it doesn't change anything because she still loves Stefan more. And so, this should be the end of the love triangle! Damon, go find someone else and stop brooding! 
  • Klaus is putting away the remaining blood and oh my god your haircut looks so good (I'm amused how he's supposed to be in a coffin decaying and yet he's hotter than ever AND WITH A HAIRCUT). 
  • Rebekah is having a breakdown because she's always stuck through him and yet he saved Caroline and not her. And oh god this scene is so heart-breaking and he just snapped her neck and she'll wake up in a bit but his words definitely won't be forgotten easily. 
  • Elena and Stefan are having a moment on the roof and boom! End of episode! 
  • EXCEPT NOT WAIT THE PASTOR IS BURNING EVERYONE WHAT THE HELL THIS MAKES NO SENSE. 
Good start to the season, excited to see what's happening next! Plus, new characters coming soon! What did you guys think?
-Happy Reading!

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