Advice to Heroines: Seriously, Take Notes.

This post is actually what I sounds like! Some basic advice that heroines should really take into consideration if they want to survive past the first 100 pages! (Haha, totally kidding, they have to live even though they're doing anything wrong because the book you're reading is probably in first person)

1. Let people finish their sentences.

Seriously, so many misunderstanding could be fixed if heroines could simply hold their horses and wait for other people to finish!

2. Leaving to fight The Big Bad alone doesn't make you brave, it makes you dumb.

Seriously, if you can't fight the thing on your own, "sacrificing" yourself doesn't make you brave. If it's something you CAN do on your own, go for it, but really: the Beatles said you need a little help from your friends. If they're willing to fight, don't take that right from them!
please, we all remember this. RIDICULOUSNESS

3. Leave the romance for later

Seriously, don't have a sudden epiphany of love when you're in the middle of something bad happening! Wait for that kiss to be a victory kiss!

4. Stalkers that are hot are still stalkers.
Just...just some friendly advice.

5. Suck it up

You think everyone else wants to be in a post-apocalyptic world/totalitarian society/the moon/whatever? No! But you're probably the savior so I need you to have your crazy freak-out because you deserve it and then get down to business (to defeat the huns. I'm sorry; I had to)!

6. If something is coming at you, KILL IT. 

Seriously, so many injuries could be avoided if there was no hesitation! If this crazy wild monster is about to kill you, kill it first!

7. Stop having internal spiritual enlightenment or introspective shit during a fight scene. 

Seriously, I do not understand when a book is in first person and the girl's in the middle of a fight and then she starts...thinking. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THINKING. The only thing you should be thinking about is staying alive, not about your life or your choices! This is really similar to when I used to watch Sailor Moon and could never understand why the fight just...paused when they had to change into costume.
this was like the first thing that came up for "spirit journey"
8. Learn how to defend yourself.

I don't care if it's basic self defense or magic or a sword, learn how to do something if you don't know how to do anything. You're not any help just standing in the corner!

9. Please verify there is no blood relation between you and your romantic interest before proceeding. Seriously: ancestry.com or something.

Just...please. That's all I ask. (Kiidding, I doubt ancestry.com will tell you the SPECIES of your parents. Although that would make a lot of heroine's lives a lot easier)

10. Whatever illegal thing you're doing, either stop it or prepare for a rebellion/war/revelation.

Seriously, you think you're going to get away with it but you're not. Whether it's making genetically engineered plants or sneaking away past the gate or walking with boys at night when it's not allowed. Stop it and keep living your normal life or be ready to face the consequences!

Happy Reading!


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...