- Little intro thing is playing and I hope the rest of them once we get into the season aren't this long. Last time: Elena became a vampire, Klaus is now out and about in his own body, and Bonnie killed her already dead grandmother.
- We open to Elena and Stefan sleeping in the forest and then Damon berating Stefan because he wants to put Elena under an animal diet. I don't know why this is such a problem -- after Caroline had her first human feed, she was fine having animal blood. This irrationally over Elena is the kind of thing that gets on my nerves. I get she's the special snowflake of the show but she'll be fine given time considering the amount of people she has to help her through this.
- She drank the blood and is freaking out with good reason and now she caught Damon and Stefan having a marital spat. Damon is being like YOU MUST BECOME KILLER PLZ. And I have no idea why he's trying to hard to make her into this hardened vampire hardcore person when she has the constitution of a butterfly.
- Stefan and Elena are now intense vampire making-out in the forest. Jesus, doesn't getting slammed against a tree HURT?
- AND then Elena vomits some blood; it's quite dramatic.
- Now we have some guy coming in and oh! I recognize him from Tumblr! He's Connor, the new vampire hunter in town so we know shit's gonna start going down this very episode because unlike other shows were it takes ten season to do things, we get results in the same episode thank god. He's looking around the crime scene and takes some stuff. (crime scene being when the pastor burned them all).
- Damon is drinking and Liz comes to accuse him of being the one to kill them all. He's surprised but really, Damon? Are you REALLY surprised?
- Connor comes to speak with her in private and Liz gives Damon this "behave" face and it's amazing.
- Jeremy and Matt are packing up some lanturns and stuff and talking about how Elena is fine but not fine. Matt still feels guilty and then that girl from Chloe King comes up and goes JEREMY. This is another new character I heard about (we're getting three this season, in case you're curious) and I gave her about five episodes before she's killed off. Considering they seem like they're going to be pairing her up with Jeremy, maybe three episodes.
- April was at a boarding school but came for her DAD'S FUNERAL and it's clear there's no lost love between them considering she makes a joke about it.
- Stefan takes out the champagne and he and Elena celebrate the fact she can now feed on animal carcasses! Yay!
- Elena goes to see Damon and he says the seat next to him is taken and oh my god it was Alaric's seat that is so sweet and sad urgh.
- Elena accuses him of burning people to death and he's like: god, no, how could you possibly thing that? I'm always harmless when I'm brooding. PFFT.
- Then Elena is like halp me I don't keep animal blood down, I need human blood. And so he thinks better alternative, drink from me even though it's apparently an intimate experience or something and so they do it and it's weird how into it they are, haha.
- CALLED IT CALLED IT TYLER AND CAROLINE IN BED. And Caroline is like: there's dead people and we're having sex. And Tyler is like bro it's totally fine let's keep going and Caroline is like: no man. And he's like: okay, I love you. And this is what bothers me about their relationship these days: all they do is have sex. And more sex. Like okay I get it horny teenage vampires, it's alright.
- Connor shows up at their doorstep and Tyler comes downstairs to I guess like have a manly-stare off? Connor takes his hand AND HIS HAND IS FULL OF VERVAIN AND HE SHOTS TYLER.
- Caroline is running out of bed and honey put some clothes on. She does, just barely, and HOW are you guys about to have sex with his mother downstairs? Oh my god, no.
- Stefan is extracting bullets from Tyler who would've died if he was a regular vampire but good thing he's not!
- Matt and Elena are handing out pamphlets of sadness through the church and her dress is pretty and quite innocent in contrast to her vampire-ness.
- Elena goes to comfort April, who she used to babysit. They bond over how they went to each other's parent's funerals and April is freaking out because her dad sent her away and she doesn't like him but she doesn't want his part in the funeral to be empty.
- Elena nearly bit April when she was stroking her arm in comfort and now she's vomiting blood again and it's really gross jeez. She has no idea what's going on through and yeah, this is weird.
- Stefan is at Bonnie's house to ask her to look at the bullets I guess and aw, I love Stefan so much. He comforts everyone and he's so sweet. Bonnie is freaking out over the messages the witches sent and avoiding everyone.
- Aw, Stefan is like: don't worry about what I was going to ask you because he's so sweet and nice, urgh.
- WOW, Elena, there is BLOOD EVERYWHERE and so Damon is bringing her a different dress.
- Connor and Damon are having a sass-off with Damon probably winning or something.
- AND CONNOR JUST STABBED APRIL WOW I ACTUALLY GIVE HER TOO MUCH TIME. I thought I was being harsh!
- Why would her doppleganger blood be rejecting the transition IF KATHERINE IS A VAMPIRE DAMON. But for some reason, Elena is rejecting the blood, probably because she's so disgusted by it.
- Stefan just saw Damon hide a blood bag and to prove his point, he's told Stefan that Elena hasn't been able to keep any blood down. INCLUDING HIS. Wow Damon, that was a petty move.
- Stefan is like: Tyler, why you here if Hunter is after you? And he's like: I'm not gonna let any hunter stop me! Which is dumb but okay, Tyler (also smiling like that at a funeral probably isn't the best idea). And then Caroline, because she is awesome, says: And if he comes around here, I'm gonna kick his ass. Stefan is amused. I can't wait for their friendship to finally show some more.
- Oh god, April is currently unconscious so Elena is getting up to say a few words about Pastor Young and Damon puts holy water on himself and yeah, I have to admit it's amusing that he's amused by that.
- HA, Stefan just told Damon to bite him and this always amuses me when vampires say that.
- BLOOD ON THE WALL. Caroline and Tyler immediately sense it and then Damon tells none of them to move because it's a trap. But Elena is on-stage and having some major issues.
- Thank god Stefan went to rescue him because she was about ready to burst. He needs to get her out of here. Even Caroline is kind of struggling to keep it in although Tyler seems perfectly fine.
- Matt is like: dude just feed from me. And you can see Caroline and Tyler on the other side of the church like: WUT? But Elena does it and manages to pull back with surprising ease and thanks Matt for being awesome.
- OH MY GOD TYLER. YOU ARE AWESOME. He goes up even though the vampire hunter is after him so that he could take the attention off everyone else and they can go get April or do whatever they have to do.
- AND HE GETS SHOT. And everyone runs away and Caroline is like UM CALLED IT and runs over to pull the stake out once everyone is gone. Tyler is particularly hilarious in this episode with his: I'm gonna kill that bastard and his mom is like: OH MY GOD AMBULANCE.
- HAHAHAHAHA oh my god best part of the episode. Stefan punches Damon while he's down
- And then, in an amazing way, they make it so that it's CAROLINE who is the one to keep Elena from her bloodlust, which is awesome. She manages to calm Elena down from attacking April AND CAROLINE IS SO PRECIOUS OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU.
- Caroline says Elena needs to compel April but she doesn't want to but Caroline says that the only way Elena is going to learn is by doing it herself and god, Stefan and Damon should be fired because Caroline neither coddles her nor is mean and harsh to her so she is obviously the better caretaker.
- And then Jeremy and Matt are joking around about how Tyler got shot and Jeremy compliments a drinking Connor on his tattoo BUT HE DOESN'T HAVE ONE IT IS A SECRET TATTOO ONLY SPECIAL JEREMY CAN SEE.
- Maybe it's a dead tattoo?
- Connor lives in a trailer and he reads the letter Pastor Young left April which says they'll all reach salvation and that jazz.
- Stefan is mad at Elena for not telling him the truth because it endangered her life and Elena is like chill and Stefan is like: YOU FED ON HIM and urgh, calm down.
- "I thought Damon would understand"? Yeah because Stefan wasn't a ripper or anything.
- "I'm sick of crying"! Yeah damn straight Elena. So she said you wanna know what's heightening? And I thought she was gonna say the body count but that's too sassy for Elena so she said grief.
- Now they're lighting lanterns to commemorate their dead friends and relatives and Damon is refusing because of his refusal to deal with the fact Alaric is dead which is SAD.
- WOW, Jeremy, your count is way too high how are you still sane.
- Oh my god Damon is drinking and snarking in front of Alaric's grave and even though I rag on Damon a lot, THIS IS REALLY SAD. Ha "lighting lanterns is a Japanese way of letting go of the dead. guess what? we're not Japanese!"
- AH OH MY GOD ALARIC IS THERE BUT NOT THERE I CAN'T.
- Ha, Damon just called him and Stefan everyone's parents which is so true. AND THEN ALARIC SAYS MISS YOU TOO AND END OF EPISODE AW.
What did you guys think of the episode? April gonna last a bit longer? Also WHERE is the Klaus in this episode, people?
Happy Reading!
Happy Reading!
